It’s Parent-Teacher Conference time! Often, during these fifteen minute conversations parents want to know what they can do to help their children, support the work of the the teacher, and also make school a part of the child’s life at home. Teachers may suggest reading; parents reading to children, children reading to parents. The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease (his web site) will give both teachers and parents a wealth of information on this topic. I used a lot of these ideas with my kids during the seventies and eighties when they were growing up.
About five years ago I came across a little ‘throw-away’ magazine in the local supermarket next to the shopping circulars, home-sales brochures, and auto ad booklets. The Rhode Island Family (March 2000) included a brief article by a local teacher, Kathleen F. Pesta that listed fifteen “hints” parents should know to help their children be successful in school. I adapted this list to include some ideas that extend Pesta’s “hints” and have used it in both pre-service and in-service instruction.
HOME-SCHOOL RELATIONS: The Advantages and Challenges of Parental Involvement
Parents can help children succeed in school
Model good work habits and attitudes for your child
• A child must know that school is a priority. This can be taught through example. You show your child every day how important your job is.
Be a mature and responsible adult.
• You are the parent!
• Children need guidance, limits.
• It is necessary, at times, to “just say no!”
• Behave in a way that requires discipline.
• “Responsibility” is an expectation.
School nights are not Mall nights!
• Successful students rarely go to malls, movies or friends’ homes during the week.
• Children almost always have homework.
• It takes time to study efficiently and complete quality homework.
Limit phone, TV, Internet chat, video & computer games.
• Restricting “chat” time both phone and IM adds definition instead of randomness to after-school time.
• Judge Judy would say: “Don’t watch me. Do your homework!”
• Children protest but many parents structure and restrict phone, TV and computer use!
Expose your child to Nature and Culture
· A trip to the zoo can be pretty wild.
· Art museums and galleries show the colors of peoples’ minds.
· Music and theater show the colors of their soul.
· Cultural experiences offer multiple pathways to learning.
· Interesting outings with parents showcase the world as a fascinating place to learn more about.
Know your child’s friends & parents
• Insist on names and phone numbers when your child is leaving the house with friends.
• Introduce yourself to the friends and parents.
• “Network” with other parents about activities and schoolwork.
Parents need to be home when teenagers have friends over.
• “Home” needs to be child-friendly.
• Respect children’s privacy.
• Check to make sure other parents are home if your child is going to someone’s house.
Spend time with your child. “Did ‘ya feed the dog today?”
• Give children regular chores to do.
• Let children know their contribution is important.
• Give them the opportunity to feel proud.
Get involved in your child’s school life.
• Attend parent nights…right up to senior year.
• Know the subjects and courses they are taking.
• Showcase your child’s BEST work.
• Let them know you care about this very important part of their life.
Parents and teachers need to be allies not enemies. Accept your child for who s/he is.
• Recognize and praise their best work. Even if it’s a C+ in chemistry.
• Challenge them but don’t frustrate them.
• Every child is an honor student in their own right…even without the bumper sticker from the local middle school!
A homework/study schedule leads to success.
• Some children study alone. Others need company.
• Some children study for hours. Others need smaller “chunks” of time.
• Observe your child; plan with him or her what works best. Make it happen and stick to it.
Encourage your child every day.
School is important work.
Honest and meaningful praise go a long way on the road to success.
Six or sixteen, your child needs YOU to be actively involved in his and her life!
Organization, structure, regimen, attention, involvement, caring, and just parents and schools send messages of success to children. They are, after all, our most precious resource.
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